Narnia, the Book Closet

This past Thursday, at Book Club on my first day as a Sir, I was put in a group with Pen and these two poor sweet quiet sevie girls named Rose and Alyssa who were so small and nice, and we were just so very frightening. Oh my goodness.

I had written out all these questions on the book And Then There Were None, and was getting really passionate about Agatha Christie when it turns out one of the girls didn't have a book.


"i um don't have a book..."

"You don't have a book?" I said.


I had to get really up in there faces to hear them. Oh glob I was so scary.

"um, no-"

Pen and I jumped up and raised our hands and pounded the table, screaming, "NARNIA! NARNIA! MS. COMMA, NARNIA! WE NEED TO GO BACK TO NARNIA!!!"

Oh, why do we always do this, Pen?

But she smiled her "oh my goodness" smile and handed us the Golden Key and we ran out of the room. Sally turned around. "You guys going to Narnia?!"

"Yeah..." we said. "Sorry."

And then we ran, ran down the stairs and past the janitor and through the teachers talking in the hallways and were somehow under the illusion that we were being 'sneaky', and slammed our bodies against the door in the wall by the Comic Board.

Pen put the key in.

"I am so excited dude, we're going back to Narnia! I love Narnia!"
"I know, and we're gonna be with Aslan and all them and then we can jump out and be all-"

"Where's your fur coats?"

We stopped, stone silent, and spun around.

Mrs. Baker, the most frightening science teacher known to the world was standing there smiling, and she loved us.

"If you're going to Narnia, you're going to have to have a fur coat."

Pen couldn't speak. She has this obsessive kind of crush on that woman.

"Well I have my striped jacket, so I think we're good." I smiled all awkward and laughed.

Pen was spluttering. "Haha yeah ha I um my arms-"

And I took the key and put it back in and it turns out the door had been unlocked the whole time, Pen just didn't know how to open a door, and I joked about it for a minute until we ran inside to escape the terrible social entrapment.



The first time we had gone in, we had had no idea what it was like. Ms. Comma just was all,
"Shady and Sally."
Pen: *devestated expression*
Ms. Comma: "And Pen."

We ran up.
Ms. Comma: (holds up a brass key) "This...is the key to Narnia."
Us: *fangirling*
Ms. Comma: (regretting saying that) "Haley, do you know where the book closet is?"
Sally and I: "Yes."
Ms. Comma: (intense face) "Go there...and get me six of these books...okay?"
Us: "Yes. Yes...y-yes. Oh yes."
Ms. Comma: "Okay go."

We went down the stairs with small, quick steps, freaking out because we were getting to go to a place full of books called Narnia.

Sally did a CSI agent somersault around a corner and hurt her back, which she clutched for the last few steps to the closet door.

It was wonderfully creepy, and we opened it.

It was so tiny, with one of those old overhead lights and HOLY CRAP THERE'S A BEE ON THE SPEAKER. WHAT THE CATS. NOW IT'S BEHIND THE COMPUTER. WHAT.

Okay never mind. So it was awesomely creepy, and smelled like old books, and after we found the books we were supposed to bring back, we found The Lion, The Witch, and the the Wardrobe, and Pen grabbed it and said-
"Dude, we found Narnia in Narnia!!"
"It's a paradox!!" I said.

Then they kept on wandering around the small space like balloons, hypnotized, and I was like "Guys, we should be heading back..." and Pen was all "Time doesn't pass in *Narniaaaaaaa*..." and I was like "Oh glob."

So we stayed there like it was ours, and we ruled it, and we started acting really, REALLY weird and giddy from the old-paper fumes and then Sally found this book from the 70's with this guy on the cover on an ice skating rink with rainbows coming out of his hands, and it was called something like "Dancing Carl," and by then we were way out of our minds and I practically had to push them out of the room and turn the light off, and by then we had been gone for like twenty minutes.

So this time, Pen and I didn't stay as long. We just got a couple books and derped around for a while and came back, and it was magical. Mrs. Baker was in her room with the door open, and she just heard the Narnia door bang open and Pen quietly scream "For Narnia!!" while I was saying "If you shout 'for narnia' as we walk out, you're going to do it alone."

And then we came back all out of breath and gave the kids their books and tried to avoid scaring the children any more than we already had.

I've never even read Narnia.

I've just been in the closet.

:3