growing moss

RECEIVED MON, JUL 21, 3:44 PM

"Hello. I have taken to growing moss. I no longer drink tea because it is summer and though I enjoy iced tea it reminds me of my father who laughs to loud in such a way it makes me think he needs attention or that he is really sad and lonely but can't ask for affection because he is simply addicted to his childhood. And that is not how things should seem but it is how they operate in my head. My mother despises this part of me. When she does work and I don't offer my aid she takes great offenses and I'm afraid I am a Yankee in the way I give now. Mostly because it is safe for they and I. I don't give unless I am asked in which case I am more than happy. But this isn't affectionate...
My mother drinks coffee, and my father too. Black, bitterly sour coffee that gives them yellow teeth with which they use to bark not smile.

My grandparents drink espresso which gives them an air of finesse. The dark pools are charcoal tasting but not bitter and they both mix their drinks. My grand mother with milk and vanilla or almond. The screaming sound the milk frother makes is comforting. My grandfather takes his with water and a sugar substitute because he is remarkably diabetic. I pity his sweet tooth."

3:50 PM

"I don't grow flowers anymore because they die. I hurt everywhere. My breathing is labored not matter what amount of albuterol I inhale...  My muscles are either wooden or strings recently. I thought that eating would make it all better. I was wrong. My stomach refuses to accept food and my mind has given up thinking clearly. As though this strike can end my hunger. What would I leave behind here if I were to die suddenly? I asked this morning sitting in the mist left just after a shower."

3:51 PM

"We have moss growing in the foam seat of a riding mower.
I was sitting there mostly because I couldn't stand up but also because I enjoy the cold."

3:52 PM

"I took the moss and planted it in a pot that once was filled with colored rocks."

3:52 PM

"I hope it grows through the winter"