Wednesday, February 20, 2013

I AM DISABLED

Ms. Comma is convinced that I have ADD.

I don't have ADD.

I am a very focused person.

It's just that, for some reason, my entire language arts class now thinks that I have an attention deficit disorder.

I get distracted easily while reading things with little words. I'll be trying SO HARD to keep my eyes on the page, only, there will be a window nearby, and I'll just drift away and start thinking things to myself like, "Trees look like skeletons. Like cracks in the sky. Breaks in a shattered window." My poetic devices depend largely on what it is I am trying to read.

Then I get hungry and get up and get food.

But I can write for a long time. And draw pictures and stuff. And when I need to I can be totally consumed with staying alive and on the road when my dog is pulling me down the street on a high-speed kid scooter.

So no, I don't have ADD.

Maybe I have a daydreaming problem? Like, somebody will try and say something to me, and i'll be like, oh im sorry, I was just staring at the wall contemplating the state of the world. Excuse me for CONTEMPLATING.

But for whatever reason, whenever I'm in my one "advanced-kids-only" class in school, something tells me that I am disabled. I can't do the things the other kids can do, and I get it done with a lot more difficulty.

Other kids turn in work that's like, "This is my essay and I know exactly what I'm doing and I can write in cursive and do everything. Include laugh at you. Haha. This paper is totally evenly creased and evenly spaced and perfect. I am perfect."

Now, some of these kids are awesome. I love them. And I don't want to make them out like these perfect kids who all do everything perfect. It's just that, when we're turning in papers, you look at all of them and they're all advanced and crap and then there's mine, like

"WAT IS A THESIS STATEMENT."

and it's like all crumpled and messed up and smudged and junk. And then everybody turns around and is like, forgive Shady, she's disabled.

It doesn't help that I sit in the back of the classroom. Because that many more eyes turn around and glare at me.

I mean, I try to be funny bout it, like "haha, look at me everybody! I'm disabled because I get distracted and I don't know what a satire is!"

It works in every other class. But these kids just...look at me. Silently. Like, "Poor girl. Something must be seriously wrong with her. Did you hear she punched a kid in the face for no reason?"

I seriously don't know what to do.

Maybe I should just get a wheelchair and call it good.

1 comment:

  1. What they think doesn't mean anything! You are one of the most intelligent people I know. AND more likely to be a real author than anyone in that class. Why? Because your ideas are relevant, significant, intriguing, and meaningful. That's more important than anything else. I promise. Over time, the format of an essay and a thesis and all that will just come naturally to you, I'm sure. You just need to get comfortable with that style of writing! It'll take time, but you will get better and better every time you do it. :)

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