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Five pre-IB students were on their way out after school, and passed by two things of equal significance:

1. A guy and gal, sprawled out on the tile floor next to the wall, making out

2. A piece of yellow chewed-up gum stuck to the wall above them

A boy who dresses and acts like an eerily accurate representation of my father when he was in high school was very passionately explaining the upcoming election in India to Martensen, who loves every single living being on the planet (minus his father) more than he loves this boy. This boy hates every single living being on the planet (minus his father) more than he hates Martensen. Which is always hilarious to watch, a hateful person loving a loving person who hates them.

Two short and wonderfully odd choir girls, one obsessed with theory of religion who carries a mug everywhere, the other obsessed with marine biology who wears a pin on her backpack that says "Day of SHADY," walked with us as well. Both are equally obsessed with each other. This is also hilarious to watch, because they interact as if birthed from the same womb or buried in the same coffin or somehow simultaneously both at once.

So we passed by objects 1 and 2, as the boy went on about the electoral scandals and Martensen pretended to listen. The girl with the mug pointed a small, enraged finger at the gum on the wall (object #2), and shouted very loudly, "THIS IS WHY SOCIETY IS CRUMBLING!"

The guy and gal on the floor very abruptly sprung apart from their embrace, frightened and shocked at the high-pitched, kind-throated voice of justice that had just awoken them from the euphoria of each other, accusing them of the entire fall of all of society as a whole.

The mug girl, still furious, still pointing at the gum, did not recognize the mistake at all, and neither did the two boys enthralled in Indian parliament. Marine Biology girl and I were the only ones to witness what had happened.

I, laughing to pieces at such outrageously beautiful timing, and realizing the herd was hurrying onward, dragged the angry mug-clutching girl away by her backpack straps. As we left the scene, I shouted to the poor couple that it was the gum, and not they themselves, that was responsible for the crumbling of society, and that they may continue if they so desired.

On the Fence

One morning on the way to school, my mother dropped me off the second the cars stacked up, as she normally and rightly does. This particular morning we were a bit late, and so I was left a fair distance from the school, marked on this helpful and vague map with a red 'x'.

As I did not wish to walk all the way around and follow the cars, and was probably going to be late, I decided to take the short and blocked path. However, once I approached the padlocked gate and it became quite clear I was not flexible enough to crawl beneath, I stood and considered my options as a boy with a longboard walked up from behind me. He dropped his backpack and board over the fence and then climbed over.

So I thought, as I always seem to think when someone does something I can't do, "Hey, I can do that!"

It was a six-foot chain-link fence, and I was a six-foot lanky teenage girl wearing boots. There was no snow, and the boots were not fashionable. They were very ugly, very old black boots I bought with my dad for eleven dollars at a vintage thrift store, with dull, round toes and no design. I wear them on sentimental days because they fit my feet well and no one can see my socks.

I looked along the top of the fence for inconsistencies, and found one on a side facing the oncoming cars on their way into the parking lot. It seemed to be the shortest piece of fencing, so I walked over, tossed my backpack, and proceeded to climb the fence.

The toe of my boot would not fit in the chain-link.

But I had already begun, and it didn't look  like a terribly difficult thing, so I decided I could just wriggle my way over with my arms. This coming from someone who could never scale the rope in elementary school, and got C's all through gym.

The thing about this section of the fence is that all of the people in their cars can see it very well.

And I got stuck.

There are Moments of Revelation in life that occur suddenly and unexpectedly, in which all you are and have ever been is made clear in that moment. It hits like a ton of bricks, stopping you in your tracks. And you look at yourself as if for the first time, objectively, and reflect on your time spent on earth.

This was one of those moments.

Eventually my arms let go and my brain caught up and I walked all the way around the fence, and then through the rock pit, and across the parking lot, and into the school. Fifteen minutes had passed. I checked my phone for the time, and noticed a text from Martensen, which read:

"I thought we weren't allowed to climb the fence?"

which is like Robin Hood asking Friar Tuck if stealing is wrong.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Don't have existential crises while unsuccessfully climbing fences where everyone can see you fail. Follow for more equally helpful life lessons!

my keyboard broke

My keyboard broke.

crying

"The thing is I just don't cry anymore. Hardly ever. Not even when I should. I give myself maybe 4 times a year on average now, and that's only for stuff so bad I ignore it."

"When was the last time you cried?"

"Oh... Last night."

She shook her head tiredly. "That's always the worst answer."